This whole week has been so traumatic for me. There are women out there that might know how I'm feeling. I've been going through a heart-wrenching break up with a man that has been in my life since the beginning of my bodybuilding career. He was the first person to believe in me and introduce me into this crazy bodybuilding world. I sit and ask myself, "Can I make it on my own, without him?" Truth be told, I've never thought I would have such a connection with a man as I did with Robert Mannix. Our relationship was built on friendship...we were kindred spirits. Now, when shit hit the fan, you start to re-evaluate everything you did for yourself during the duration of the relationship. I don't know how most people love, but I love HARD! I guess because of the passion I possess for all aspects of my life. I think I failed to see the bigger picture in this instance. Is it a "guy thing" to hold in emotions that cause turmoil in their psyche and heart right up to the point it's too late? I take full responsibility for my part in causing the aftermath of it all and I just feel it could have been prevented in a lot of ways. Heartbreak is the worst kind of pain. I will never stop believing in myself and know that there is a means to an end. Peace and love, everybody.